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February 28, 2014

The Laws of Love

Love isn't just some crazy, random mystery. Years of research reveal that we are born needing love. It helps us survive in a dangerous world, and it makes us stronger. If we learn how to do it well, it will last a lifetime. In this video, Psychologist and marriage expert Dr. Sue Johnson talks about "The Laws of Love."



 

February 24, 2014

Not Just For Married folks - Part Two

A friendly group of people
A previous post pointed out that many of the general principles that apply to intimate relationships actually apply to all kinds of human interactions. Here are some more articles from the blog with ideas that can be used in many different areas of life.

February 17, 2014

The "Isn't My Spouse Awful?" Game

by guest blogger Patty Newbold

Before I started assuming love, I engaged in the very popular "Isn't my spouse awful?" game, as both instigator and player. To get it started, you ask your sister or people at work, or maybe even the stranger seated next to you on the bus, to confirm that there's something terribly wrong with your spouse. You plead with them to agree that you've married someone who's just plain wrong. Wrong about angels. Wrong about blue-green algae. Wrong about whether the right color ribbon is worth a two-hour drive. Wrong about evolution. Wrong about who ought to be elected. Wrong about what does and doesn't belong in a living room. Wrong about the value of television. Wrong about how to and when to ask for a raise. Wrong about teal blue. Wrong about who's right and who's wrong.

February 14, 2014

Reasons to Love

Sonnet XIV from Sonnets From the Portuguese
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
first published in 1850


If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
'I love her for her smile - her look - her way
Of speaking gently, - for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day' -
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee, - and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry, -
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
Bot love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.

Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning

Portraits of Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Robert Browning by Thomas B. Read (1822-1872)


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February 10, 2014

Let's Do Something - Part Two

Couple with snowman
All too often we get stuck in patterns of doing the same things over and over again, or -- even worse -- doing nothing. Boredom and inactivity lead to stagnation. To keep our lives and our relationships enjoyable, we need a certain amount of variety and novelty. Sharing different experiences helps couples stay emotionally connected.

In Part One I wrote about physical activities and food. Here are some more ideas to help you and your partner add a little spice to your life.

February 3, 2014

Start, Stop, Continue

In a recent post at Black and Married With Kids, Jay Hurt describes Start, Stop, Continue, a performance-improvement concept that can be applied to relationships with colleagues, friends, and loved ones.

The idea is to start doing things that will improve the situation, stop doing things that are harmful or ineffective, and continue doing things that work.

We're all different, so each person needs to do a little self-evaluation to determine what needs changing and what is worth keeping. One person's suggested list might look something like this.