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March 11, 2013

Be Spontaneous!

By guest blogger Larry James

Never value certainty so much that you don't allow yourself to be open and available for the adventure that spontaneity provides!

Never underestimate the value of spontaneity in a relationship. Too often relationships lose their excitement because the partners fall into a routine that becomes boring as time goes by. Regimented routines are okay for the short term but become boring after a while. If you spend too much of your time planning the details of your relationship you will most likely get pretty worked up when things don't work out as planned. A plan that has no room for flexibility. Allow your instincts to take over for a moment instead of relying on rationality.

"Spontaneity is creative. It provides unexpected and surprising results. It allows for freedom of choice. It brings new life experiences."
Colin G. Smith

Do you schedule having fun? Practice being more playful. In order to spice things up in your relationship you must learn to be spontaneous and accept that doing things on the spur of the moment adds a sense of adventure. Being spontaneous helps you appreciate your routine. If you want to shake up a rut you're in you need to embrace change. Spontaneity does that for you.

Practice being a lot more flexible. When things don't go as planned, be okay with that. Flexibility allows you to bounce back quicker. The better you are at coping with unknown situations, the less stress you'll accrue throughout the day. Relationships can often throw challenges your way. Being spontaneous helps you prepare for those challenging times by teaching you to be flexible and go with the flow.

Some of the richest gifts in my life have come from being spontaneous. Like suddenly stopping by the side of the road, getting out of the car, picking a few wild flowers and handing them to my partner through the window and watching the smile appear on her face. Those are the uninhibited moments your partner will cherish. Being spontaneous is exhilarating, captivating, and just plain fun! It forces you to go outside your comfort zone.

Spice up the intimacy you share! Spending a night at a hotel is another way to restore the excitement in your relationship. Intimacy is very important in a relationship, and if you and your partner have found that this aspect of your relationship has lost its spice, it's time to shake things up a bit. If you're going through the same sequence of moves every time you have make love, it's no wonder you're both bored. Perhaps it's time to approach intimacy as an adventure. No planning, no thinking, just do it. Give your bed a break and explore totally new territory. Kitchen table? In the back yard in the daytime on a blanket? If you're needing a boost of creativity to really be spontaneous, just look around for inspiration. Use your imagination.

"A kiss is still another way to bring the excitement back into your relationship. You may have gotten into the habit of giving your mate a kiss on the cheek or a quick peck on the lips when you see them after a long day of work. Trying kissing them with passion the next time you see them to catch them by surprise and really let you know not only how much you love them but how attractive you find them as well."
Gregg Hall

Singles regularly report to me that one of the top traits they look for in a mate is spontaneity. Spontaneous people are regarded as exciting, adventurous and fun. Being spontaneous exposes you to a whole new world of experiences that occur often as a surprise. Magic happens when you become more spontaneous!

Spontaneity can breathe new life into relationships that have become predictable. It welcomes the unknown and makes your relationship more interesting.

I've said many times that unfulfilled expectations always cause problems. Spontaneity happens so quickly that there is no time for expectations of what might happen.

Enjoy the spontaneity that relationships bring your way. Nurture the ability you have to adapt to new situations quickly. Try spontaneity! You'll like it!

Copyright © 2013 Larry James. Reprinted with permission. This article is adapted from Larry's books, "How to Really Love the One You're With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship", "LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing", and "Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers." Author Larry James presents seminars nationally for singles and couples. Subscribe to Larry's FREE monthly "LoveNotes for Lovers" eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. Send e-mail to Larry James - www.CelebrateLove.com

3 fabulous comments:

  1. So good to see you here, Larry! Three cheers for spontaneity. My husband and I really benefit from a schedule which allows us to get exercise and writing, but just last weekend we said, Enough! and played our day away. It was delightful.

    Thank you for reminding us of the importance of fun and play.

  2. A magnificent reminder of an excellent quality to nurture. Although we love our routines/rituals, we are constantly tweaking them, breathing novelty into our lives.

  3. No better way to spice things up than to do the horizontal mombo in the hotel's empty kitchen!!


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