October 11, 2016
It's amazing to me that many people refuse to thank their partners for doing the things that keep the household and the relationship running smoothly.
"Why should I thank my wife for washing the dishes? It's her job."
"Taking the trash out is my husband's job, I don't need to thank him for that."
When a waitress refills your coffee, do you thank her? When a hotel bellman delivers your luggage to your room, do you thank him and give him a tip? When a docent at the zoo explains giraffe behavior to your kids, do you say thanks?
Have you ever said thank you to a store clerk who handed you your change, or to a UPS driver who delivered a package? When you leave an antique store or a specialty boutique, do you say thank you to the owner, even when you didn't buy anything? Do you say "Good boy" when your dog greets you at the door?
The fact is, most of us habitually thank others for doing things that are just part of the job. It's common courtesy. Our spouses deserve the same courtesy. Our spouses don't want to be just household drudges, ignored and taken for granted. They want to feel appreciated.
I'm happy to say that my husband and I thank each other every day for the little (and sometimes big) things we do. Thanks for helping me in the garden. Thanks for doing the laundry. Thanks for getting the things I like at the grocery store. Thanks for bringing the trash cans up from the street.
If you haven't been doing this, give it a try. Your spouse may be surprised! You can make it even better by saying, "I just want you to know that I appreciate the things you do, and all your hard work."
It takes almost no effort, yet it means a great deal.
Thank you says: I notice you, I appreciate you, what you do is important, you matter to me. It feels good to hear it, and it feels good to say it.