Thanks, Honey

Do you thank your spouse?

It's amazing to me that many people refuse to thank their partners for doing the things that keep the household and the relationship running smoothly.

"Why should I thank my wife for washing the dishes? It's her job."

"Taking the trash out is my husband's job, I don't need to thank him for that."

Does Your Spouse Make Mistakes?

In a blog post called "I Wasn't Treating My Husband Fairly", a woman describes how she realized that her extreme criticism of her husband had damaged their relationship.

Her husband had done the grocery shopping and had brought home the wrong kind of hamburger. Instead of seeing this as a simple mistake, the wife interpreted it as a sign of his carelessness and stupidity, and his failure to pay attention to her and the way she did things. She gave him a huge, angry lecture about it.

And then she realized just how wrong she was.

Nag Me Some More

It is a familiar scenario. Your partner asked you to do something, and you said you would do it. For some reason you haven't done it. Your partner asks you about it. Maybe the inquiry is made calmly and respectfully. Maybe it is made with impatience or anger. Possibly you feel a little guilty, but mostly you feel pressured, pushed and resentful. Maybe you say, "I said I'll do it, and I'll do it." Or "I'll do it when I get around to it." Or "Stop nagging me!"

Gratitude

by guest blogger Lana Cooper

In the words of a classic rock tune, "Some say love / It is a flower." Similarly, there is a saying that insists we should always "take time to stop and smell the roses." Modern life, being what it is, often interferes with taking a pause, however brief, to enjoy the simple beauty of our surroundings. Yet sometimes you have to take the time back, wresting it away from all of the day's pressures and jam-packed schedules.

Words of Affirmation

You love your spouse, and you show it in many ways, but you rarely put your feelings into words. Talking about emotions doesn't come naturally to you. Maybe you are more comfortable talking about work, your hobbies, politics, or the weather. Or maybe you feel really good sharing a companionable silence, performing a task together without the need to chat about it, or sitting comfortably next to your partner while you read a book or watch TV.

But the person you married doesn't share your point of view. He or she wants you to talk about your feelings, especially your feelings about the relationship, and feels neglected when that doesn't happen. Perhaps you've been accused of being an uncaring person, despite all the ways you show your love, because your spouse wants you to say it. And just saying "I love you" at appropriate times doesn't seem to be enough. He or she wants more, and you don't have a clue what else you can say.