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Showing posts with label alcohol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alcohol. Show all posts

January 18, 2017

The Link Between Domestic Violence and Substance Abuse


Photo courtesy of Unsplash by Freestocks.org
by guest contributor Michelle Peterson

Domestic violence is not necessarily caused by substance abuse; however, research has shown that there is a strong link between the two. According to Addiction.org, regular alcohol abuse is one of the leading causes of domestic violence. In fact, nearly two thirds of all domestic violence offenders also use and/or abuse substances like drugs or alcohol. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) cautions that the effects of these traumas may not surface right away (and victims often do not come forward) so this problem may be worse than we realize.

Although domestic violence is not directly caused by substance abuse, we can see that drug and/or alcohol usage remains the common denominator in many cases of domestic violence and abuse. Research has shown that most abusers were using drugs, alcohol or other substances at the time of the abuse. Even worse, the trauma of being abused often causes the victims to turn to drug and alcohol abuse as a means of dealing with their situation.

Think this is just limited to hard drugs like meth and cocaine? Think again. Some of the substances frequently involved in domestic violence cases include commonly-used prescription pills, many of which are known to unleash violent behaviors, according to Time Magazine.

Since we know that drug and alcohol abuse is directly linked to domestic violence - and vice versa - what can we do? Experts recommend that abusers and victims take advantage of the following:

  • Anger Management Classes
  • Drug Rehab and Substance Abuse Treatment
  • A 12 Step Program for Alcohol Abuse and/or Drug Addiction (Alcoholics Anonymous is one great option)
  • Nar-Anon, Al-Anon and other support groups and 12 Step healing programs for victims and families
  • Mental Illness Treatment
  • Trauma Therapy
  • Eating Disorder Treatments (eating disorders are commonly diagnosed among domestic violence victims)

In addition, abusers need a safe place to continue their recovery in order to break the cycle of abuse. Unfortunately, many abusers are unsuccessful with the methods listed above because they are surrounded with too much toxicity and temptation during their recovery process. In order to have a successful recovery process, people need:

  • A drug-free environment (this is one of the most important aspects to recovery)
  • Regular meals
  • Transportation to and from meetings and appointments
  • People to talk to who are supportive, nonviolent, and are not currently using or abusing drugs or alcohol
  • If these needs cannot be met in the offender’s household, the offender may need to consider inpatient care instead of the usual outpatient care

This is sobering data, but at the end of the day we still have the power to change these numbers for the better. There are several treatment options available for abusers and victims, regardless of whether or not drugs are involved in the cases. It’s also important to address any co-occurring disorders that may be leading to or resulting from substance abuse or domestic violence. With proper treatment, it is possible to effectively address these disorders, heal victims, reform abusers, and help take the first steps towards healing.

Michelle Peterson is a recovering addict, and she wishes to eliminate the stigma surrounding people who struggle with addiction.
 

December 16, 2016

Friends Don't Let Friends Toast Drunk

Not long ago we attended a lovely, expensive wedding. Everything was wonderful - the ceremony, the bridal party's clothing, the decorations, the food, the music - except for one thing.

When the best man got up to toast the happy couple, it quickly turned into one of those embarrassing scenes that I thought only happened in movies. Extremely drunk and completely uninhibited, he peppered his speech with foul language, off color remarks, and too much personal information. Some people were amused. Many, including the bride's parents, were not.

Inappropriate wedding toasts happen surprisingly often. Some people announce how much they dislike the bride or the groom, or express their opinion that the marriage won't last. Others reveal personal information about business problems, previous lovers, health issues, bad habits, or the fact that the bride is pregnant. Sometimes the problem isn't that the speech is rude or controversial, but just that it goes on too long. The speaker decides to recite the long version of the couple's life stories, droning on for 15, 20, 40 excruciatingly dull minutes. Sometimes a speaker has good intentions but is just so drunk that he can't speak coherently.

What can you do to prevent terrible toasts from spoiling your reception, making your wedding video unwatchable, and potentially destroying a friendship? While there are no guarantees, there are some ideas that can improve your chances of having only positive experiences.

  • Talk to the members of your wedding party ahead of time and ask everyone to keep their toasts tasteful.
  • Ask that speeches be kept short. One minute (or less) is plenty.
  • It helps if the toasts are scheduled at the beginning of the reception when people are being served their very first drinks, so there is less chance anyone will be drunk.
  • Before he starts to speak, quietly remind your frat brother that children and grandparents are present.
  • Designate a tactful, sober person to monitor the toasts. It is often possible to gently intervene and walk a drunk away from the microphone.
  • Make sure someone has the ability to deadmike an offensive speaker.
  • Sometimes people get started and have trouble stopping. If someone talks more than five minutes and seems to be going on forever, they may feel relieved when you gently interrupt them with a smile and thanks.
  • When choosing who will speak, omit anyone who has a grudge against the bride or groom, or anyone who has a history of disrupting social events.
  • Control the number of speakers by making a list ahead of time. Have an emcee use the list to introduce each speaker. After the last speaker, discourage volunteers by removing the microphone and moving on to another activity.

Despite your best efforts, it is still possible someone will say something upsetting. The best thing to do is just let it go and move on. Your wedding is a celebration of your commitment to each other, and the main focus will always be on you, not on one bad moment.

And remember, videos can be edited.