A Free Spirit

Richard Hart and I were involved in running a nonprofit organization for about 20 years. He's impressive, not just because of his tremendous honesty and intelligence, but because of his endless curiosity about the world and his talent for analyzing everything and applying what he has learned. He has never stopped learning.

Richard is about my mother's age, and like my mother he has recently moved - with his wife - to a residential facility. Because his wife needs additional assistance, he has chosen to live with her in the "memory care" section of the residence. He now blogs about their life at Residential Care For Two.

Unlike my mother and many of her contemporaries, who gave up on new technology about 30 years ago, Richard keeps his skills up to date. He is always willing to learn something new - like using the Uber app. Few people look forward to the day when they will have to give up driving, but Richard is smart enough to know that day is soon, and he is doing plenty of research as he prepares himself to handle it.

I wouldn't call Richard's blog emotional, although he describes some of the emotional and psychological issues in his life. He writes straightforwardly about the challenges he faces, and includes practical tips about things like investing in annuities and deciphering Medicare. His post about driving brought a tear to my eye. He wrote, "As long as we have the car and I can drive, I can believe I am a free spirit.... I am not yet one of 'them'...."

What makes Richard stand out from the crowd is his self-awareness and his courage. He accepts what he must, but not with helpless resignation. He continues to make choices and take action, so that to the full extent that they are able, he and his wife can enjoy a meaningful life together.

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Note: That's not Richard in the photo; it's just an illustration I chose to symbolize the spirit of his blog.
 

Tummy Trouble

A couple of doctors have tried to get me to take PPIs (proton pump inhibitors), drugs that reduce the amount of acid in the stomach. PPIs are typically prescribed for people who have symptoms of GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease), heartburn, and other related conditions. They are routinely handed out to hospital patients, apparently to help them avoid being sickened by the hospital food.

Sickness and Health

In August, I had a tumor removed from my stomach. Although not malignant, it was problematic, and it had to go. Removing this kind of tumor requires removing part of the stomach. It is a serious operation.

My surgery was scheduled on a Friday. Steve took that day off work so he could be with me -- starting quite early, since we had to check into the hospital at 6:00 am.

Sliced, Diced, and Back Online

Two weeks ago, I underwent surgery to remove a non-malignant tumor from inside my stomach.

I've been home for ten days, recovering in small, daily increments, and I'm slowly starting to feel like myself again.

My husband has done an awesome job of taking care of me during this time.

I'll be writing more about this when I get a little stronger.
 

And a Happy New Year

One reason most New Year's resolutions fail is that we try to do too much.

Looking back at the old year, we may be pleased with our accomplishments, but we also remember, all too clearly, our failures and disappointments. Another year older, we feel increasing pressure to reach our goals before it is too late.

With the best of intentions, we make those lists. Lose 10 pounds. Organize all the closets. Find a better job. Do Date Night every week. Finish the novel. Make love more often. Take a French cooking class.

It's overwhelming.

How Is Your Heart?

The day my grandfather died, he spent several hours experiencing mild symptoms of a heart attack. His upper body felt uncomfortable, and there was pain radiating along his left arm. He was tired and short of breath. The pain in his arm persisted most of the afternoon. Maybe he thought it was his arthritis acting up, or a muscle cramp. He took a rather stoic approach to physical discomfort, so it is possible he had other sensations that he didn't think were important enough to mention.

Helping a Loved One Through Addiction

by guest blogger Alicia Lawrence

One of the hardest aspects of dealing with the addiction of a significant other is the helplessness you feel. Then there's guilt associated with being an enabler. This is often rationalized with, "Better me than a stranger," "At least they won't steal," or whatever excuse springs to mind to ease your conscience. Eventually, this ends in one of two ways: You either slowly manage to make someone else's addiction entirely about yourself or you erase yourself and your emotions completely.

Neither scenario is of use to the loved one struggling with addiction or to you, either. If you are truly trying to find a way to be of service to someone you care about, there are proactive and helpful steps you can and should take.