Done But Not Finished

Once we had packed up our possessions and moved out of our house, I was ready to leave it all behind and hit the road.

But it isn't that simple.

How Can I Miss You When you Won't Go Away

People keep asking us when we are leaving town, and a few people were under the impression we were already gone. That would be great! But there are just a few things still holding us back.

The good news is that our house sale is pending, and the better news is that escrow might closer sooner than originally predicted.

There is still plenty to do. The sale has required an amazing amount of paperwork (now mostly all completed). We need a termite inspection (and possibly some action based on the results). There are a few small repairs that need to be done. We are also stuck in town for a couple of extra weeks beyond escrow because I have a doctor appointment that just couldn't be scheduled any sooner.

A few months ago, we had a long, long list of things to do. That list is now pretty short. Although it has been difficult and frustrating at times, it is doable, and we are doing it.

Every time we check off something from our to-do list, Steve says, "One step closer." We feel closer to freedom each day.
 

"But Not For Lunch"

"For better or worse, but not for lunch."

It's a saying familiar to my mother's generation, a humorous way of suggesting that when a husband retires, his wife may not welcome having him home all the time.

After Steve and I announced our plan to retire and spend months or years traveling together, some people wondered if this might turn out to be too much of a good thing. Will being together "all the time" prove to be boring, irritating, or suffocating?

Not yet.

Maybe if we were sitting around doing nothing all day we would have a problem, but for the past few months we have been busier than ever, as we get ready for the next phase of our life together.

We couldn't stay in our house once we moved our possessions out. Everything was either stored, sold, or donated. We moved into temporary housing (a small, one-bedroom apartment) while preparing to sell the house.

We do spend a lot of time together, working on whatever project needs to be done to move forward with our plans, taking walks, and — yes — having lunch. We also have time to pursue our own interests. We agreed a long time ago that it's okay to have separate activities, or just to seek a little solitude.

Our biggest challenge is probably the bathroom. In our old house, we shared a large master bathroom with two sinks. Conveniently, there was another bathroom off the hallway, and a third one downstairs. Nobody ever had to wait.

Here, there is one small bathroom, with one sink. Additionally, the only mirror in the apartment is the one over the bathroom sink. We need to remember that getting ready in the morning will take a little extra time. And sometimes someone may have to wait a few minutes. But this no worse than normal vacation conditions. We've had to deal with smaller spaces than this one. If this is the biggest problem we face, we'll be okay.
 

A Free Spirit

Richard Hart and I were involved in running a nonprofit organization for about 20 years. He's impressive, not just because of his tremendous honesty and intelligence, but because of his endless curiosity about the world and his talent for analyzing everything and applying what he has learned. He has never stopped learning.

Richard is about my mother's age, and like my mother he has recently moved - with his wife - to a residential facility. Because his wife needs additional assistance, he has chosen to live with her in the "memory care" section of the residence. He now blogs about their life at Residential Care For Two.

Unlike my mother and many of her contemporaries, who gave up on new technology about 30 years ago, Richard keeps his skills up to date. He is always willing to learn something new - like using the Uber app. Few people look forward to the day when they will have to give up driving, but Richard is smart enough to know that day is soon, and he is doing plenty of research as he prepares himself to handle it.

I wouldn't call Richard's blog emotional, although he describes some of the emotional and psychological issues in his life. He writes straightforwardly about the challenges he faces, and includes practical tips about things like investing in annuities and deciphering Medicare. His post about driving brought a tear to my eye. He wrote, "As long as we have the car and I can drive, I can believe I am a free spirit.... I am not yet one of 'them'...."

What makes Richard stand out from the crowd is his self-awareness and his courage. He accepts what he must, but not with helpless resignation. He continues to make choices and take action, so that to the full extent that they are able, he and his wife can enjoy a meaningful life together.

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Note: That's not Richard in the photo; it's just an illustration I chose to symbolize the spirit of his blog.