For Better - Or What?

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December 8, 2017

After All These Years


When we said "I do" 32 years ago, we didn't know what lay ahead. We expected it to be interesting, but we had no idea just how interesting it would get. Our road has taken many unexpected turns, and we have made many choices that would have seemed highly unlikely on that December day in 1985.

Of all the choices we have made, perhaps the most surprising was our decision to sell everything and take a long vacation. As radical as it seems, it was an easy decision to make. We knew almost immediately that this was exactly what we wanted and needed to do.

We have been on the road and blogging about our travels for over six months. In a larger sense, we have been on this journey together for over three decades. We have come a long way together, and we still have a long way to go.
 

November 23, 2017

Thanksgiving on the Road

Last year at this time, I wrote about how to get along with difficult people at the holidays.

Luckily, that is not a problem I am currently facing!

We are in Atlanta on Day 174 of our vacation, celebrating with congenial family members. Although the picture I chose to illustrate this post is a stock photo by Cala on Unsplash, it looks a lot like the delicious butternut squash soup my sister-in-law made for us.

Steve and I are very thankful for everything we have been able to do, for everything we have, and for the love and support of all our family and friends.

I hope you are having a wonderful holiday.
 

August 5, 2017

I'm Still Here

When Steve and I started our vacation, I imagined that blogging would be simple. After all, we would have new experiences all the time. We would just sit down at the end of the day and write all about it. What could be easier?

The reality has been a little different. Our schedule is very full. At the end of a long (albeit enjoyable) day, sleep is likely to be a higher priority than blogging.

Right now we are in the process of re-adjusting our schedule so that we'll have more time available for some of the tasks we have tended to neglect (little things like laundry), as well as more time to relax and blog.

In the meantime, we have posted pictures and narratives of some of our travels so far at Let's Go Somewhere Else.
 

July 7, 2017

Solving An Annoying Habit


A reader asked for help with this annoying problem in her marriage.

She wrote: "My husband has a habit that I hate. He uses the toothpaste and never puts the cap back on. I have asked him about this many times. He says he will change but always after one day he goes back to the old habit. We have argued about it and he doesn't think it is a big deal but it really bothers me, it is so sloppy and inconsiderate. It has reached the point where just seeing the cap on the counter makes me want to scream. How can I get him to do this one thing?"

When our partners continue to do annoying things, it can seem as though they just don't care much about us. Why else would they refuse take a few simple actions to please us and make our lives easier? We start to feel neglected and resentful.

My husband used to get really annoyed with me because I couldn't seem to screw the lids back onto jars properly. He kept finding jars with loose lids, and it was driving him crazy.

I don't do it intentionally. For some reason, jar lids challenge me, and I prefer not to spend a lot of time struggling with them, so my attitude tends to be "close enough". As he complained more and more, I tried harder and harder to get the darn things lined up and screwed down. But I didn't always succeed. From his point of view, as he still ran into those loose lids, it seemed that I just wasn't paying attention. We both felt more and more frustrated.

Toothpaste caps. Jar lids. There are a million little things in the world that can annoy us. Or they can amuse us. Instead of growling because an otherwise competent adult can't seem to handle this one little thing, we can choose to smile about it, because every individual has little quirks and flaws that are part of the whole picture of who that person is. It's not so annoying when we see it as amusing, or endearing.

Finally, hubby and I had a clear discussion about jar lids, and we were able to let the issue go. I found this quotation from The 7 Best Things Happy Couples Do by John and Linda Friel:

"I used to get so mad at you because you left the tops off of everything. Now, when I reach for the juice and the cover falls off, I smile and think, 'Oh. She's been here recently. She's in my life. I'm so glad.'"

It's your choice.


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June 1, 2017

Letting Go

Starting a new way of life requires letting go of the old.

We knew we were serious when re-homed the cats. We were sad to say goodbye to them, but they couldn't stay with us, and they are very happy in their new location.

Friends and neighbors thought it was pretty interesting when we sold or donated most of the stuff we had collected over a couple of lifetimes. We put just a few things in storage.

When we sold the house we felt liberated. As much as we had once loved living there, we were ready to move on, and to be freed of the many responsibilities of home ownership.

Finally, we sold Steve's car. Driving that convertible with the top down was something he really enjoyed. But we only need one car for our trip, and it has to be the practical choice, the one with room for our luggage. From now on, it isn't "my car" and "your car" - it's just "the car".


This car is now somewhere else.

We have one suitcase each, a couple of small carry-on bags for incidentals, and our pillows.

We're on the road.