Does your spouse do something that makes you uncomfortable, gets in your way, or just drives you crazy? She whistles while she works. He drops his underwear in the middle of the bedroom floor. She leaves the sponge in a big puddle of water on the counter. He puts his feet up on the coffee table. She laughs so loudly at the TV that you can't hear the dialogue. He leaves the cupboard doors open.
Perhaps you have suffered in silence. More likely you have mentioned the problem, nicely at first, but with increasing irritation as time goes by. Your partner knows how much this bothers you. It's pretty obvious that he is too selfish to care. It would be so easy to do the right thing, but obviously he has no respect for your feelings. If he really loved you, he would be more considerate. You may begin to wonder if he is doing this deliberately to spite you.
Whoa! Before we go too far with this, perhaps we need to step back and consider it another way. The reality is, many annoying behaviors are simply habits that people have independently of whether or not they are living with someone else. Often, they aren't even fully aware of what they are doing.
If your sweetheart would do whatever it is she does even if you weren't around, then it isn't about you. It's just a habit. When you realize that it isn't directed at you and has nothing to do with the way your spouse feels about you, it becomes much easier to live with. That doesn't mean you can't request a change. But if it's difficult for your spouse to change because the behavior comes so naturally to her that she doesn't even notice it, then it's silly to take it personally.
At the same time, you probably have some quirks and habits that annoy or inconvenience your partner. Perhaps you've been told about them, or asked to change. Just like your spouse, you are not behaving this way out of spite. Your habits have become so normalized that you don't even see them as habits. It seems as though it's just the way you are, and you would be this way whether or not you were married.
But it's worth remembering that being married isn't the same as being single. If it were, we wouldn't bother to do it! Living with another person requires some adjustments. Making an effort to increase your partner's comfort in small things is a way to show love and consideration that costs you very little.
Try to treat your habits the way you wish she would treat hers, and treat hers the way you wish she would treat yours. New habits can gradually replace old ones, and eventually you won't remember doing it any other way. Your willingness to change may even inspire her to make a few changes of her own. In any case, by being more accommodating and less demanding, you will create a more relaxed atmosphere that benefits both of you.