How Can We Ever Agree on Anything?

When Hubby and I were dating, we had so many habits and preferences that were completely different that we used to joke that we had nothing in common.

For example:

• One of us likes pizza with thin, crispy crust; the other prefers the deep-dish variety.
• One of us enjoys country music; the other would rather listen to blues and jazz.

Tweeting

From time to time, I like to look at the statistics for my Twitter account to find out which posts resonate the most with my friends and subscribers.

I tried a service called Favstar, which uses a combination of retweets and favorites to measure which tweets are "best". This analysis lists these as the top ten during the past four months.

• Responding to spouse's unkindness with your own unkindness instantly doubles the mean quotient. Is that what you want?
• Be slow to blame and quick to apologize.
• Don't expect your spouse to be a mind reader. Say what you feel, what you want, what you think.
• Date night doesn't have to be a night. It can also be date afternoon, date morning, date lunch, etc.
• When you cheat on your spouse you are cheating your children, too.
• "Letting go of grievances is what you do when you want to stay together." Mira Kirshenbaum
• Remember, anger originates in pain. Instead of reacting to your spouse's anger, find a way to ease the pain.
• You won't get everything you want. But you will get things that are worth appreciating.
• No matter what the subject, use your tone of voice to convey love and respect.
• Don't horribilize the future with "what if" thoughts. Assume the best.

I tried another service, called My Top Tweet. This one ranks tweets based solely on the number of retweets. Using that criteria, I got a top ten list for the year to date that included four of the tweets chosen by Favstar, plus these:

• Instead of deleting texts you want to hide from your spouse, delete the contact who tempts you to send them.
• Never criticize your spouse in front of others. If you have a legitimate complaint, discuss it in private.
• A small amount of effort can have a big payoff. Do the little things that make your spouse feel loved.
• Date Night doesn't have to be expensive, it's about focusing on fun with each other.
• Guys, want more affection? Treat your wife like you did when she was your girlfriend.
• No "friendship" is worth damaging your marriage.

For measuring a tweet's popularity, I like using retweets a bit more than favorites. Some people use favoriting on Twitter as the equivalent of a "like", while others just use it as a way of bookmarking things. There are others who favorite tweets just to get your attention, hoping you will follow them. When someone retweets your tweet, they like it enough to be willing to identify themselves with it to their own followers.
 

Things My Husband Said

This morning I spent a little time remembering some of the things Hubby has said to me, things that brightened my day and made me smile, and a few that just cracked me up. Here are a few examples.

This one is always good: "I saved the last piece for you."

One morning I asked him if I had been snoring. He said, "A little. But it was very soft, like a little bear. It was cute."

At the airport: "I miss you already."

I'm an articulate person with a lot on my mind, and I rarely run out of things to say, especially when the topic is Linguistics, my area of expertise. I told Hubby I was worried about dominating the conversation too much. He said, "Don't worry, I can talk whenever I want. But I enjoy listening to you, even when you're droning on and on about Linguistics."

On more than one occasion, he has remarked that "The thirty-five dollars for the marriage license was the best entertainment deal I ever got."

There is no way to argue with that.