In his 1903 autobiography, the astronomer Simon Newcomb wrote about how his parents met. It's a sweet story.
My father was the most rational and the most dispassionate of men. The conduct of his life was guided by a philosophy based on Combe's "Constitution of Man," and I used to feel that the law of the land was a potent instrument in shaping his paternal affections.
His method of seeking a wife was so far unique that it may not be devoid of interest, even at this date. From careful study he had learned that the age at which a man should marry was twenty five. A healthy and well endowed offspring should be one of the main objects in view in entering the marriage state, and this required a mentally gifted wife. She must be of different temperament from his own and an economical housekeeper.
So when he found the age of twenty five approaching, he began to look about. There was no one in Wallace who satisfied the requirements. He therefore set out afoot to discover his ideal.
In those days and regions the professional tramp and mendicant were unknown, and every farmhouse dispensed its hospitality with an Arcadian simplicity little known in our times. Wherever he stopped overnight he made a critical investigation of the housekeeping, perhaps rising before the family for this purpose. He searched in vain until his road carried him out of the province.
One young woman spoiled any possible chance she might have had by a lack of economy in the making of bread. She was asked what she did with an unnecessarily large remnant of dough which she left sticking to the sides of the pan. She replied that she fed it to the horses. Her case received no further consideration.
The search had extended nearly a hundred miles when early one evening he reached what was then the small village of Moncton. He was attracted by the strains of music from a church, went into it, and found a religious meeting in progress. His eye was at once arrested by the face and head of a young woman playing on a melodeon, who was leading the singing. He sat in such a position that he could carefully scan her face and movements. As he continued this study the conviction grew upon him that here was the object of his search. That such should have occurred before there was any opportunity to inspect the dough pan may lead the reader to conclusions of his own.
He inquired her name: Emily Prince. He cultivated her acquaintance, paid his addresses, and was accepted.
He was fond of astronomy, and during the months of his engagement one of his favorite occupations was to take her out of an evening and show her the constellations. It is even said that among the daydreams in which they indulged one was that their firstborn might be an astronomer. Probably this was only a passing fancy, as I heard nothing of it during my childhood.
The marriage was in all respects a happy one, so far as congeniality of nature and mutual regard could go. Although the wife died at the early age of thirty seven the husband never ceased to cherish her memory and so far as I am aware never again thought of marrying.
Showing posts with label compatibility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label compatibility. Show all posts
January 16, 2017
November 13, 2016
It's Okay to Be Different
I've written before about the many ways in which my husband and I have different preferences.
Often when people learn that Hubby and I have so many differences, they assume we must be constantly negotiating and compromising, or that we live in a state of constant discord. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I'm not going to claim that we have never had an argument, or that there haven't been a few times when we had to make a choice that disappointed one of us. But those times have been rare.
Often when people learn that Hubby and I have so many differences, they assume we must be constantly negotiating and compromising, or that we live in a state of constant discord. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I'm not going to claim that we have never had an argument, or that there haven't been a few times when we had to make a choice that disappointed one of us. But those times have been rare.
Labels:
compatibility
,
compromise
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differences
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disagreements
,
preferences
November 4, 2016
Finding the Perfect Soulmate
Not long ago I read an article by a young man who had been amazed when he learned that many people from his grandparents' generation had simply chosen spouses who lived nearby, rather than conducting extensive searches for ideal soulmates.
The author of the article was convinced that these old folks had missed out on something important. Nearly everyone he knew was using dating apps to seek the perfect mate, and they were willing to spend a lot of time and travel great distances to find exactly the right person.
The author of the article was convinced that these old folks had missed out on something important. Nearly everyone he knew was using dating apps to seek the perfect mate, and they were willing to spend a lot of time and travel great distances to find exactly the right person.
Labels:
compatibility
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dating
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online dating
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soulmate
,
values
February 25, 2016
Still a Match?
After ten years of marriage, writer Gina DeMillo Wagner was worried. Too many friends, all married about the same length of time, were getting divorced. Her own parents had split up at the ten-year mark. She and her husband were still in love, she thought, but there were some problems that raised her anxiety.
So she decided to try an experiment. They would create profiles on a popular dating site and see if it matched them. That, she decided, would prove that they were still compatible. Or not.
Wagner's Washington Post article describes what happened next, and what the unexpected result really proved.
So she decided to try an experiment. They would create profiles on a popular dating site and see if it matched them. That, she decided, would prove that they were still compatible. Or not.
Wagner's Washington Post article describes what happened next, and what the unexpected result really proved.
January 25, 2016
Don’t Confuse Shared Interests With Shared Values
At the beginning of a relationship, similar interests can draw two people together. Meeting someone who likes the same music or the same outdoor activities creates a sense of comfort and connection. Having similar interests immediately gives us something to talk about without having to search for conversation topics. When we enjoy most of the same activities, we naturally want to spend time together.
When two people are in the early infatuation stage of love, they are thrilled to discover that they have many mutual interests. It isn't unusual to hear someone exclaim with delight, "We have the same favorite movie, we both like Italian food, and we are both into mountain biking. We are so much alike, it's amazing!"
When two people are in the early infatuation stage of love, they are thrilled to discover that they have many mutual interests. It isn't unusual to hear someone exclaim with delight, "We have the same favorite movie, we both like Italian food, and we are both into mountain biking. We are so much alike, it's amazing!"
Labels:
compatibility
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interests
,
values
October 21, 2014
How Can We Ever Agree on Anything?
When Hubby and I were dating, we had so many habits and preferences that were completely different that we used to joke that we had nothing in common.
For example:
For example:
- One of us likes pizza with thin, crispy crust; the other prefers the deep-dish variety.
- One of us enjoys country music; the other would rather listen to blues and jazz.
Labels:
agreement
,
arguments
,
compatibility
,
compromise
,
decisions
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