The Marriage Minute

The Gottman Institute has introduced a newsletter called "The Marriage Minute". This is a very positive resource for any marriage or close relationship.

Delivered via email twice a week, each newsletter contains a short article with useful information on a relevant subject. Included are links to actions you can take or exercises to try, as well as additional web pages or videos.

For example, yesterday's newsletter was entitled "Conflict is Inevitable". People are different, so some kind of conflict is bound to happen in any relationship. The good news is that conflict doesn't need to damage a relationship. Handling it well can actually bring people closer together. Included was a checklist to help couples recover from a fight, as well as links to articles with more information.

To subscribe to the Marriage Minute, just go to www.gottman.com/the-marriage-minute/ and enter your email address.
 

It's Okay to Be Different

I've written before about the many ways in which my husband and I have different preferences.

Often when people learn that Hubby and I have so many differences, they assume we must be constantly negotiating and compromising, or that we live in a state of constant discord. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I'm not going to claim that we have never had an argument, or that there haven't been a few times when we had to make a choice that disappointed one of us. But those times have been rare.

Agree or Disagree?

My husband and I are completely different.

I think about this when one of us is driving and the other is a passenger. We have different ideas about speed, lane changing, and distance from other cars. We have very different ways of choosing a parking spot.

Our differences are obvious around the house. We don't wash dishes the same way, and don't stack the dishes to dry the same way. If we are using the dishwasher, we don't load it the same way.

The Morning After

By the time you read this, the election will be over.

I'm writing this on Tuesday afternoon, so I do not yet know what the results will be.

A little while age I was watching the news. A reporter spoke to an elderly couple on their way to vote. The wife was an adamant Trump supporter, and the husband was equally adamant in favor of Clinton. They both seemed a little angry. The reporter asked them if they still loved each other. Yes, they did. They kissed, and the wife shrugged, saying, "What are you gonna do?"

What we should do, win or lose, is treat each other decently. Look for common ground. Continue to work for what is right. Move forward with as much dignity and respect as possible.

Hate destroys us. Love can help us heal.