Differences Between Men and Women

 

Women have been shown in many studies to retain stronger and more vivid memories of emotional events than do men. This appears to be a reflection of physiological differences in the brain, not a sign of the level of involvement in the relationship.
Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight

One common difference between the sexes is that men tend to place a higher value on autonomy, and women a higher value on intimacy.
Patricia Love, Hot Monogamy

Studies show women to be more sensitive than men to pain, except during the last few weeks of pregnancy.
Atul Gawande, Complications

Generally most women want sex when they already feel emotionally close, but for men sex is a way of becoming emotionally close.
John Gottman, The Science of Trust

Husbands who allow themselves to be influenced by their wives actually have more power in their marriages than men who don't. That's because wives who feel empowered and respected in their marriages are more likely to go along with their husband's ideas and suggestions as well.
John Gottman, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

There are no important differences between men and women, but the unimportant ones are sometimes very interesting.
Ashleigh Brilliant

Review: 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married

Linda and Charlie Bloom are psychotherapists and relationship counselors who have been married to each other since 1972. This book represents a compilation of the important lessons they have learned, not just from their clients and students, but from the ongoing challenges of their own marriage.

Each chapter starts with a statement that distills some bit of wisdom. Here are some examples:

• Marriages never outgrow the need for romance.
• Your opinion is not the truth.
• Expectations set us up for resentment.
• Secrets are lies.
• Marriages can stay fresh over time.

Quotable and thought-provoking as these titles are, they aren't the end of the story. Two or three pages are devoted to a discussion of each point, along with relevant examples and good advice. Although optimistic overall, this isn't just a "feel good" book. A recurring theme is that marriage requires commitment and work; nothing worthwhile can be achieved without effort.

One of the most important messages from this book can be best summed up by one of its own chapter titles: "You don't have to be able to love well to get married; the training occurs on the job." When we marry, no matter how mature we may be or how well-prepared we think we are, we really have no idea what is going to happen. The Blooms remind us to be flexible, to keep learning, to let go of unrealistic expectations, and to keep talking to each other. Because each chapter can stand alone in its coverage of a subject, it isn't necessary to read them in order. I recommend keeping this book handy and picking it up now and then for comfort, advice and inspiration.

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A Message to Your Future Selves

If you've ever had the experience of running across an old diary or some letters that you or a loved one wrote long ago, you already know how interesting an experience like this can be. Often, the problems, worries, hopes and dreams that were once all-consuming have been completely forgotten. You may be surprised by your own naivety, your own wisdom, or by just how much your life has changed.

Check Out These Blogs

At Romance Never Dies, Grace Pamer keeps us up to date on everything romantic. She posts great ideas and news about marriage proposals (including videos of real-life proposals), romantic dates, relationship tips, and much more. Her specialty is writing romantic love letters, and to help others learn how to do it she offers free ebooks and email updates. This site is a constant source of fun and inspiration.

Entertainment or Relaxation?

I once attended a lecture by a psychologist who said that none of us can expect to be a source of entertainment for our spouses for long. He said that most people have a very limited number of stories to tell. Eventually your spouse will have heard all of yours, many of them more than once. Gradually, a few old stories get dropped and a few new ones get added, but it doesn't matter. Now, your spouse has not only heard all those stories, but has experienced many of them personally. What once was entertaining is now boring, and even a bit annoying. If you are a public speaker or professional entertainer, the situation may be even worse. Your spouse is proud of your achievements, but he or she has seen your act enough times. Nobody enjoys living with a performer who is always "on".

Jill and Kevin's Big Day

This wedding video has had over 76 million views since it was posted on YouTube three years ago. If you haven't seen it yet (or even if you have) please watch it now for a joyful experience.

Note: After clicking the play button, you may need to click the "Watch on YouTube" link on the video screen.

Isn't this exactly how we all felt on our wedding day?

Bobbleheads

I love personalized gifts!

My husband was surprised and delighted to receive these cute bobblehead versions of us. He plays the guitar, and although I'm no singer, in this case it seemed only appropriate that I get behind the microphone to accompany him.

I ordered these online from Face It Figures, and I was quite pleased with the service. You can find several other companies who make these by doing a Google search on "personalized bobbleheads". There are many different body types available to suit whatever profession, hobby or fantasy you may have. Be aware that you will need to get started 6 to 8 weeks before the gift-giving occasion. You will need good, clear pictures of each person's face in full front and profile poses.

Bobbleheads always make people smile, and they are great conversation starters. An individual doll is a fun gift for any occasion, and a pair would be perfect for an engagement, wedding or anniversary. My hubby liked these so much that he posted photos on Facebook and used his as his profile picture.