The Most Important Meal of the Day

Tweet, Tweet

This blog is connected to my Twitter account @forbetterorwhat, where I publish links, quotations, advice and random thoughts several times a day.

I took a quick look at which messages had been retweeted the most in recent months. Here are a few of the messages that resonated with people enough to make them want to share. It's not surprising that a Gottman quote heads the list!

• "Learning to cherish another person and allowing that person to cherish you is the greatest blessing of life." John Gottman
• Keep your promises. Even when it's inconvenient. Even when no one is watching. Keep your promises. All of them.
• Don't let sex become the last thing on your to-do list.
• Marriage gives us unlimited opportunities to discover our best selves.
• Your spouse wants to hear, "I would do anything for you."
• Rejecting sex makes your spouse feel rejected as a person.
• Think about the consequences of your actions before you act.
• Be the kind of marriage partner you would like your children to have someday.
• You don't have to do everything together. Just the things that matter.
• When you cheat on your spouse, you are cheating your children, too.
• Your spouse wants to hear this: "You are the only one I want."
• Little daily love boosts are more important in the long run than the occasional spectacular event.
• Be generous in giving compliments and gracious in accepting them.
• To get a better marriage, start by becoming a better spouse.

 

The Secret

You Can't Start Over

The Lucky One

The Things That Matter

"Many people think that the secret to reconnecting with their partner is a candlelit dinner or a by-the-sea vacation. But the real secret is to turn toward each other in little ways every day."
John Gottman,  The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

"I used to get so mad at you because you left the tops off of everything. Now, when I reach for the juice and the cover falls off, I smile and think, 'Oh. She's been here recently. She's in my life. I'm so glad.'"
John and Linda Friel,  The 7 Best Things Happy Couples Do

"Ninety-nine percent of the time, people don't want your advice, your evaluation, your opinion, your critique, or your solution to their problems. They just want you to listen and understand their feelings."
Ellen Kreidman,  Light His Fire

"The old standbys are still important. Be thoughtful. Do special favors. Lavish loving attention. Be playful. Show enthusiasm. Look your best."
Pat Love,  The Truth About Love

"We need someone to pay real attention, to hold us tight, to come very close sometimes and respond to us in an emotional way that moves us, connects with us. Nothing compares with that."
Sue Johnson,  Hold Me Tight

"He loved all of me. He accepted everything about me. He listened to me. He never judged me. He never asked me to become something I wasn't. He never pushed me away from my dreams. He loved me unconditionally, and that's why I married him."
Alisa Bowman,  Project: Happily Ever After

Words of Wisdom

"When a relationship functions properly there's no power struggle, there's no sense of inequality, there are no important needs that are aching to be met. There's a sense of being at home with each other."
Mira Kirshenbaum, Our Love Is Too Good to Feel So Bad

"The lesson to be learned from the long and happily married couples is that bad times can pass, and good times return."
Catherine Johnson, Lucky in Love

"If you think that sticking to your guns and refusing to please your partner is a winning position, think again. There is no way that you can win if your partner loses."
Shirley Glass, Not "Just Friends"

"More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse."
Doug Larson

"Commitment is not a one-time event; it's an ongoing process."
Linda and Charlie Bloom, 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married

"Marriage isn't about dividing things up 50/50 anymore. That's what roommates do when they share the rent. Marriage should be about supporting and helping one another, despite 'fairness.'"
Amy Morin, Five Realistic Expectations About Marriage

"Happiness and longevity in a relationship occur when folks wake up in the morning and ask themselves how they can make their partner's day better."
Wombat, Kiss and Blog

For more great quotations about love and marriage see, The Things That Matter

Differences Between Men and Women

 

Women have been shown in many studies to retain stronger and more vivid memories of emotional events than do men. This appears to be a reflection of physiological differences in the brain, not a sign of the level of involvement in the relationship.
Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight

One common difference between the sexes is that men tend to place a higher value on autonomy, and women a higher value on intimacy.
Patricia Love, Hot Monogamy

Studies show women to be more sensitive than men to pain, except during the last few weeks of pregnancy.
Atul Gawande, Complications

Generally most women want sex when they already feel emotionally close, but for men sex is a way of becoming emotionally close.
John Gottman, The Science of Trust

Husbands who allow themselves to be influenced by their wives actually have more power in their marriages than men who don't. That's because wives who feel empowered and respected in their marriages are more likely to go along with their husband's ideas and suggestions as well.
John Gottman, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

There are no important differences between men and women, but the unimportant ones are sometimes very interesting.
Ashleigh Brilliant

What the Experts Say About Love

 
We need someone to pay real attention, to hold us tight, to come very close sometimes and respond to us in an emotional way that moves us, connects with us. Nothing compares with that.
Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight

It is about the gentle, and sometimes not so gentle, give and take of sharing, knowing, and striving to fulfill each other's needs.
Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy

True love replenishes itself daily through acts of kindness.
Pat Love, The Truth About Love

Love isn't just a feeling; it's an action that shows our caring.
Linda and Charlie Bloom, 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married

Couples who have grown to love and trust each other over the years form an unparalleled support system. Their shared history, their steadfast commitment, and their appreciation of each other create a vast reservoir of peace and contentment.
Patricia Love, Hot Monogamy

To be known we must reveal our opinions, our feelings, our dreams, our values, and our deepest desires. We must have the courage to be transparent and real.
Alisa Bowman, Project: Happily Ever After