Can You Affair-Proof Your Marriage?

One of the big myths about infidelity is that affairs only happen in unhappy marriages or in marriages where something -- like regular sex or good communication -- is missing. But the research of experts like Shirley Glass has shown that this is a huge misconception.

Some unhappy spouses stray, and some never do. Many unfaithful spouses are actually happy in their marriages. An overwhelming number of affairs happen simply because people allow themselves to overstep emotional and physical boundaries with friends or colleagues, sometimes so gradually that they may not realize, at first, that they have taken a wrong turn.

Holiday Lingerie

Winter holiday season is the time when department stores and boutiques offer a larger than usual selection of beautiful, luxurious loungewear and lingerie items. Many retailers make red lingerie available only for Christmas and Valentine's Day, so if red is your color, this is the time to get it. You will also find more elegant fabrics, such as velvet and cashmere, and glamorous color combinations, like black and silver. With the careful addition of a camisole, shrug, or lacy blouse, many of the gowns sold at this time of year can be worn as party dresses. The price is significantly lower than a "real" evening gown or cocktail dress and the fit is usually much more comfortable.

Special Hint: When you exchange gifts with your husband on Christmas Eve, consider adding a mischievous surprise by showing up in a cute Santa's Helper Costume.

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The Consequences of Lying

People lie because they are afraid of the consequences of telling the truth. But the consequences of lying are much worse.

Martha doesn't want to have children. But she agrees with her fiance when he talks about how great it will be when they have kids, because she is afraid of losing him. Emily worries that her husband will be upset if he finds out how much she spent on new clothes this week, so she hides the receipts and tags at the bottom of the garbage and shoves the new items to the back of her closet. Mark wants to go out for drinks after work with an old college buddy, but he thinks his wife won't approve, so he tells her he is working late.

Surprise!

For Chuck's birthday, Vera has told him they will have dinner with a couple of close friends at his favorite restaurant. They have to go to the other couple's house to pick them up. When they get there, thirty people jump up and shout "Surprise!" Chuck forces himself to smile and socialize during the party. But he really feels miserable. Being the center of attention in a large group of people is always a little embarrassing for him. He's been feeling sensitive about his age lately, so calling attention to it like this makes him uncomfortable. Worst of all, he was really looking forward to a special dinner with good friends at a wonderful restaurant, and not getting that is deeply disappointing to him. He knows that Vera meant well, but he feels that a promise was broken and that something he truly wanted was taken away from him.

Do it For the Kids

Occasionally I run across articles claiming that studies have shown that it's better for children to be shuffled between their divorced parents than it is to stay in a home where there is constant strife. Perhaps this is so. But it reminds me of those crazy schoolyard debates we used to have:

Would you rather go blind or deaf?
Would it be worse to freeze to death or starve?
If you had to give up a body part, would you pick your leg or your arm?

These are all terrible choices, and no one really thinks that either one is a good idea.

Breakfast in Bed? Maybe.

One suggestion that appears repeatedly in the search for advice on how to be more romantic is to surprise your sweetheart with breakfast in bed.

This sounds like fun, but there may be some problems.

Good Communication Is The Key To a Loving, Trusting Marriage

by guest blogger Liam Hamer

Trust and good communication are two of the most important aspects of a successful marriage. In fact, it could be said that you can't have one without the other. Without these things, marriage can be an uphill battle. There can be niggling doubts in the back of your mind about your spouse. Where are they? What are they doing? Similarly, you can also wonder if what they say to you when you talk to each other is true and that they are being honest about your relationship. And because there is a lack of good communication, you may find it difficult to express yourself properly to them.

Forgiving Without Regret

by guest contributor Serena

Sam and I had been married nearly ten years when his best friend, Bill, was killed in a horrible accident that involved negligence and led to criminal charges being filed. In addition to the shock and grief felt by everyone who knew Bill, the circumstances were controversial and created some painful divisions within our circle of friends. It was a terrible time.