Parts of a Date

I saw this sign on the wall of a restaurant where Hubby and I had brunch last weekend.

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UPDATE: I have since learned that this was written by Judith Martin aka "Miss Manners". Whoever created this painting should have included her name as the source of the quote, rather than appearing to take credit for themselves.
 

Tapas For Two

By guest contributor Roberto Stepanovich

Sometimes, when a couple has been married for a long time, they fall into patterns that are hard to break out of because they are too comfortable and too easy for both parties. Sometimes these are behavioral patterns, but sometimes these are patterns of eating the same things over and over. In an attempt to (literally) add more spice to our lives, my wife began subscribing to TryTheWorld.com, where every month we receive a box of foods from foreign countries. These foods are usually some spices, sauces, condiments, small desserts and, sometimes, the beginnings of entrees that require some additional ingredients.

So far, we have received boxes from France, Japan, Morocco and Spain. Over the course of these months, we have tried some of these items and enjoyed most of them.

Fun in the Sun

Hubby and I just got back from a short getaway trip to Pismo Beach. We relaxed, enjoyed the beach, and had some great meals.

We tried something neither of us had done before: Driving ATVs. At Oceano Dunes, there is a large area set aside for camping and recreational vehicle use, with a five-mile stretch of beach and about 1500 acres of sand dunes. It is a beautiful, well-maintained area.

After renting our vehicles and receiving instructions, we were free to enjoy ourselves. It was a Monday in the off-season, so the area was not at all crowded, making it easy to get around without having to worry about traffic or possible collisions.

Cruising the Relationship Blogs

Friday We're In Love - Camille and Jacob enjoy a date night every Friday. They take pictures and blog about what they did. It is a lot of fun to see how much they enjoy themselves, and how creative they are. If you are having trouble coming up with ideas for your own date nights, there is plenty of inspiration here.

Dr. Sue Johnson - Sue Johnson is one of the world's top relationship experts, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, author of the best-selling Hold Me Tight and her new book Love Sense. Her advice and methods are based on cutting-edge research into how our brains, body chemistry, and emotions all work together.

Let's Do Something - Part Two

All too often we get stuck in patterns of doing the same things over and over again, or -- even worse -- doing nothing. Boredom and inactivity lead to stagnation. To keep our lives and our relationships enjoyable, we need a certain amount of variety and novelty. Sharing different experiences helps couples stay emotionally connected.

In Part One I wrote about physical activities and food. Here are some more ideas to help you and your partner add a little spice to your life.

Let's Do Something - Part One

Do your weekends ever sound like this?

"What do you wanna do?"

"I dunno. What do you wanna do?"

"I dunno. What do you wanna do?"

"Zzzzzzz....."

We know that variety makes life more enjoyable. Sharing different experiences brings fun to a relationship and strengthens the bond between two people. At the same time, lethargy is a powerful force that keeps us stuck right where we are. We'd like to try something new, but coming up with ideas seems like so much trouble. We end up sinking deeper into the same old easy chair, falling asleep to the same old TV, vaguely wishing things were different but not quite able to figure out what that would look like.

Strengthen Marriage with Online Tips

The first of John Gottman's Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is "Strengthen Your Love Maps." This means that we should get to know our spouses better all the time, updating information that may have changed, reminding ourselves of things we may have forgotten, and learning new things about each other. The better we know the person we married, the stronger our love becomes and the better we are able to both enjoy each other and withstand stress together.

Sex By Appointment

One of the most common reasons couples cite for not having sex is a lack of time. Somehow, everything else - including a lot of small stuff they don't really care about - takes priority over making love with the person who matters most. People are tired and stressed and have so many demands on their energy and attention that in the course of a day (or a week or, alas, a month) they just can't seem to find a free moment for each other. They think they will get around to it later, but later they are still caught up in the same old cycle of chores, errands, and obligations.

What do busy people do when they want to makes sure they get something important done? They make an appointment!

Break the Date Night Routine

Having a regular date night is one of the most frequently recommended ideas for keeping the fun and romance in a marriage. But, as Dr. Rich Nicastro explains on his Strengthen Your Relationship blog, there are several reasons why date nights sometimes turn out badly.

Dicastro says that we need to break free from comfortable, old routines and be willing to try something new. Enjoying new experiences together strengthens your emotional bond - and it's fun!

A Titanic Date Night

Dinner and a movie is the classic date night. That's exactly what my hubby and I chose this past weekend. We went to an afternoon showing of Titanic 3D, followed by dinner at our local CPK.

Like just about everyone else in the country, we had seen this movie when it was first released in 1997, and had really enjoyed it. It combines great story telling with impressive visual effects and enjoyable performances. Even though you know, more or less, how it's going to end (the ship sinks!) there are plenty of suspenseful moments. This time, having seen it before, we really knew what was going to happen, but that didn't matter. The 3D remake worked well, and even though 15 years have passed, the quality of the models and digital effects is just as impressive now as then. The film was exciting and fun to watch, and we didn't even notice how long it is (over three hours).

It's possible to get Titanic on DVD and Blu-ray, but I wouldn't want to see this on a small screen. It's a big picture about big things!

After the movie, we were hungry. It took a while to get dinner, since we were in a section that was being served by a very clueless young man (who eventually got some much-needed help from a more experienced waitress). But the food, once it arrived, was good. Even though the new lemon cake looks tempting, we skipped dessert and went home feeling relaxed, happy and romantic. And that's what Date Night is all about.