The Power of Love

Love can transform a life.


 

Living a New Life

In Thornton Wilder's play Our Town, the character of Emily dies while still a young woman and finds herself on a new plane of existence with those who have died before her. She learns that it is possible to go back to the world and relive a day from her life. Her companions advise against it, but she is curious. They tell her it is best to choose an ordinary day, but she wants something a little special, so she picks her twelfth birthday.

The Heart of Romance

Patricia Love, in her book Hot Monogamy, says,

Romance is the way that you demonstrate your love and respect for your partner on an ongoing basis. Through your words and actions you let your partner know that he or she occupies a central place in your life.

In The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples, John Gottman defines romance as

the state that follows an agreement made with one's partner to nurture acts and thoughts that cherish qualities of each partner as special, unique, and irreplaceable.

What is Romance?

Romance is one of those ideas, like love, happiness, and enough, that mean different things to different people. For many people, romance is associated with a dramatic, high-fantasy version of relationships that may be very exciting in a paperback book or on a movie screen, but that is impossible to sustain in real life. Few of us have the time and energy to spend our days galloping along the beach on a jet-black stallion, dressing in elaborate costumes, meeting our lovers in exotic locations, and concocting secret identities, all the while letting our hair flow in the wind while our bosoms heave with passion. There is laundry to be done, the cat needs to be fed, and sooner or later someone has to go to work.

On a more realistic note, Wikipedia tells us that the word romance "implies an expression of one's love, or one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person." That makes sense to me. The desire to express love, to feel loved in return, and to experience a deep connection with a partner is at the heart of a happy marriage.

Please join me in exploring married life, with an emphasis on what romance really means, what it takes to create it, to keep it alive, and to rediscover it after a difficult time.