19 Questions to Amazing Sex With Your Spouse

By guest bloggers Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo

Before you ever got married you and your spouse thought long about sex. You may have even talked about having sex together or had sex before you got married. We know where you are because we talked about sex and had sex before we got married. The sex was driven by emotion and because of this we didn’t talk about what we liked or disliked. The decision to have sex before marriage and to then not talk about it led to many subpar years of sex. Along the way we ended up with some pretty bad habits, too.

You now have the opportunity to do what took us 11 years of marriage to do; we talked about our sex lives! We actually took time together, faced our fears, and asked each other questions about what we would like or wouldn't like when it came to making love. You may be a bit squeamish right now. Good! It means you need to have a talk with your spouse.

Taking a "Break"

I'm taking a short break from blogging while I get caught up on some other work.

Something Special Today?

If your sweetie craves extra attention on Valentine's Day, be generous and provide it. If you have been hoping for something special and your partner fails to provide, be generous and forgive. Don't let the presence or absence of grand, romantic gestures influence the future of your relationship.

Knowing When to Trust

In What Makes Love Last?, relationship expert John Gottman explains that trust is the fundamental requirement for long-lasting, fulfilling love.

Trust usually builds as a relationship progresses, through small and large opportunities to demonstrate honesty and reliability. We can see how a potential partner treats us and others, and we develop a sense of what this person's overall character and behavior is like.

But sometimes there are issues that impair the ability to trust or distrust appropriately.

A Valentine Story

One year, early in our marriage, my husband and I decided to go out to dinner on Valentine's Day. Somehow, we didn't realize just how crazy it would be to try this without making reservations. The restaurant we chose was, of course, packed. And there were plenty of naive couples like us waiting for tables. We were told it would be a long, long, long wait.

You Weren't Warned

What would it be like if people came with warning labels? Imagine that before your first date with someone, you could see what the future holds:

• He will lose his job and not look for another, spending his days watching TV and drinking while you support the family and do all the housework.
• Her low interest will eventually result in a sexless marriage.
• She is a shopaholic who will deplete all your savings and put you on the brink of foreclosure.
• He will have a long-term affair with a woman he met on a business trip.
• Her mismanagement will run the family business into the ground.
• He will withdraw half the money from the children's college fund and buy himself a boat.