Whew!

Posting every day for a month was a challenge! But I made it. I'm hoping this will stimulate me to blog on a more frequent basis than I have in the past.

Thanks for reading!
 

A Peaceful Weekend

Thanksgiving weekend was a quiet one for us.

For several years, we've gone out for Thanksgiving dinner, usually at the same restaurant. Last year was very disappointing, as mismanagement at a once-enjoyable restaurant led to sub-par service and food shortages. So this year, we decided to do something different. We went out for breakfast, and on Thursday night we stayed home and enjoyed an evening of homemade tapas.

On Friday we followed our usual practice of completely ignoring the "Black Friday" sales. We took advantage of pleasant weather to take a scenic drive through the mountains. The next day, we supported "Small Business Saturday" by getting haircuts from our usual stylist. That night, we had a traditional turkey dinner (at less than the holiday price) at a local restaurant.

Today, we continued to avoid the mall, relaxed with a round of miniature golf, and goofed off in the early evening with some silly TV watching followed by a light dinner at home.

I'm relaxed and ready for the week ahead.
 

Working Together

By guest contributor Roberto Stepanovich

As you may know, Southern California is in the middle of a serious drought and everyone is being asked to reduce their use of water. Our backyard has a lot of green areas that require constant watering and we wanted to start reducing the amount of water that we use, so we decided to take out some of the plants in certain areas and replace them with succulents and a drip watering system. With an extended summer, it took longer than we had hoped for weather cool enough to work in the yard. Finally, Fall came to SoCal.

Cherry-Pear Jello Dessert

Thanksgiving reminds me of the big family dinners we used to have at my great-grandmother's house. The table was loaded with all kinds of wonderful food, and I would stuff myself until I slid out of my chair and collapsed under the table.

I always liked the Jello dessert my grandmother made. This year, I attempted to reproduce it.

A Time For Hope

All too often, the joys of the holiday season are diluted with sorrow. As another year slowly comes to an end, many of us feel the ache of dreams unfulfilled, the regret of actions not taken. More than ever, we are aware of the relentless progress of time, and we may feel discouraged about our future prospects.

If we have spent much time watching and reading the news, we may feel anxious and fearful. Fear is the enemy of hope. If we allow fear to fill our minds, we lose hope, and with that we lose our sense of meaning in life.

In a special Thanksgiving message John Gottman reminds us that this is a season of hope. He offers a plan that can turn our lives around with a renewed sense of purpose.

Where there is love, there is hope.
 

Unconditional Love

When our oldest cat died, Bob was left alone. He needed a companion, so we went back to the animal rescue center where we had adopted him.

After interviewing a couple of candidates, we settled on Jake. We got permission to take him home on a trial basis, to make sure he and Bob would get along. We expected to have Jake for about a week before making a decision, since cats typically need a period of adjustment before accepting someone new.

The Never-Ending Battle

Do you have an unsolved problem with your spouse, one that has left you feeling perpetually resentful, mistreated, or hopeless?

Perhaps your partner does things that are hurtful, unfair, inconsiderate, insulting, annoying, or completely outrageous. It has become impossible to discuss the situation, because he or she immediately gets defensive, refuses to listen, takes a completely illogical approach, or blames you.

If this sounds familiar, you probably have a perpetual problem.

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

It's hard to tell if this was intended seriously. The idea is that, if your sweetheart is out of town -- or if you are single and lonely -- you can comfort yourself by cuddling up to this pillow in place of the missing man.

Apparently there is a market for this, if only as a gag gift, as there are several competing products listed on the page. One drawback they all seem to share is that they all are left-armed. If you are used to snuggling on the right side, you may be out of luck.

Besides, no matter how it is shaped, a pillow lacks so many important qualities -- body heat, chest hair, and the other half of the torso. On the other hand (heh-heh), it won't snore, and it won't kick you if you do.

I'm not going to buy one of these any time soon. But I did enjoy reading the many satirical reviews.
 

Typos

The built-in spell checker is unable to find all spelling errors. All it does is check to see if a word is in the dictionary. It does not complain when I call it a spool chucker. It doesn't know the difference between loose and lose, or between their, there and they're. If I type "This is two mush too bare," it just doesn't care. If I peak when I should have peeked, its interest will not be piqued.

Thinking in the Shower?

Like a lot of people, I get some of my best ideas in the shower, when it isn't exactly convenient to write them down.

So I was quite pleased to come across Aqua Notes, a waterproof notepad that attaches to the shower wall, making it easy to jot down those flashes of inspiration before they are forgotten.

If you're like me, you've already figured out that these can be used to exchange friendly messages with your significant other. In fact, the same company makes a slightly more expensive version, Aqua Love Notes. The difference is that the love notes version comes with colored pencils.

Whether you use this to take notes on the next Great American Novel, or to invite your sweetie to a romantic rendezvous, I can see this item becoming an indispensable bath time accessory.
 

Stuffed Portobello Mushrooms

At the market last week, I bought a couple of beautiful portobello mushrooms, even though I had no idea what to do with them.

The mushrooms were more than four inches in diameter, big enough to use as entrees. A quick peek into The Joy of Cooking indicated that they would be best if roasted.

How Is Your Heart?

The day my grandfather died, he spent several hours experiencing mild symptoms of a heart attack. His upper body felt uncomfortable, and there was pain radiating along his left arm. He was tired and short of breath. The pain in his arm persisted most of the afternoon. Maybe he thought it was his arthritis acting up, or a muscle cramp. He took a rather stoic approach to physical discomfort, so it is possible he had other sensations that he didn't think were important enough to mention.

When "Sorry" Isn't Enough

A couple of years ago, I wrote an article about how to apologize. One of the points in that article was that apologies are meaningful only if they are sincere.

One measure of sincerity is whether or not there is true remorse. Some people say they feel remorse, but what they really feel is just regret at having been caught doing something wrong. They feel bad for themselves because they may have to face someone else's anger, and there may be some kind of unpleasant consequences or a penalty to pay. Maybe they even wish they hadn't done whatever it was they did, but only because they don't like paying the price.

Statue of Liberty

When I was ten, my dad took me and my eight-year-old brother to the Statue of Liberty, and we climbed to the crown.

A day or two earlier, I had stood on the deck of the ship, happily gazing at the statue as we sailed into port. Now a long line of tourists slowly moved up the spiral stairs. It was mid-August, hot and humid, not the ideal time for this visit. But after a year in Europe, we were in good shape, having walked, hiked, and climbed the tourist attractions of over a dozen different countries.

The view from the top was terrific.

Online Dating Safety

Online dating sites can be a great way to meet compatible people for potential relationships. Many people find wonderful partners this way. I know several people who have found great relationships and marriages through these websites.

Unfortunately, the popularity of online dating has attracted scammers who prey on the hopes of people who are looking for love. Most of them want to cheat someone out of money. Others are cruel pranksters who just want to make fun of someone. Scammers create fake profiles on dating sites or on social media, and then start looking for victims.

Tapas For Two

By guest contributor Roberto Stepanovich

Sometimes, when a couple has been married for a long time, they fall into patterns that are hard to break out of because they are too comfortable and too easy for both parties. Sometimes these are behavioral patterns, but sometimes these are patterns of eating the same things over and over. In an attempt to (literally) add more spice to our lives, my wife began subscribing to TryTheWorld.com, where every month we receive a box of foods from foreign countries. These foods are usually some spices, sauces, condiments, small desserts and, sometimes, the beginnings of entrees that require some additional ingredients.

So far, we have received boxes from France, Japan, Morocco and Spain. Over the course of these months, we have tried some of these items and enjoyed most of them.

Thinking of Paris

In spring 2010, Hubby and I spent a week in Paris.

As we climbed to the top of Notre-Dame Cathedral, we enjoyed photographing the grotesques that adorn the building's exterior.

Need More Sleep

It has been two weeks since we switched from Daylight Savings to Standard Time. I'm still tired.

Twice a year, everyone complains about the inconvenience and confusion caused by moving the clock forward or back an hour. Both the fall and spring shifts are associated with small increases in the number of serious traffic accidents. However, medical experts tell us that only the spring shift (when an hour is "lost") is associated with serious sleep disruption. Gaining an hour in the fall should be no problem.

The truth is, I have fallen into the trap of staying up late even though I get up early. My mornings need to change! In the meantime, maybe I'll just take a nice, long nap.
 

Some Problems Can't Be Solved

Dr. John Gottman tells us that most conflicts in a marriage are perpetual. Years go by, and people are still arguing about the same things.

Surprisingly, happy couples who are highly satisfied with their marriages still have these perpetual problems. In the meantime, other couples become increasingly unhappy and are torn apart by the same kinds of unresolvable issues.

Losing Weight Peacefully

Weight-loss diets usually don't work. Yes, it is possible to lose weight by following a plan of some kind. Whether it's a crazy, rapid-loss fad or a nutritionally sound, medically supervised program, almost any kind of diet will work for a while. But the results don't last.

No matter what method they use, the overwhelming majority of dieters regain the weight within two or three years, and many become even heavier than they were before.

If Your Partner Treats You Badly

Do you live with someone who hurts you?

Maybe your spouse or partner hits you. Maybe this person likes to twist your arm, pinch you, or pull your hair. Maybe he or she threatens violence as a way of controlling your behavior, preventing you from speaking your opinions or asking for what you want, or preventing you from leaving. Has this person shown you a knife or a gun in order to control you? Has he or she threatened to cripple or kill you?

Another Me

If I had a clone, I'd want her to take over some of the routine tasks that eat of a lot of my time and energy. Then I'd be able to do more of the fun things, like blogging and napping with the cat. Of course, if I had a clone, she'd feel the same way about me.
 

Do You Hear What I Hear?

One day when Kara, my mother's neighbor, was home alone, she heard footsteps overhead. It sounded as though someone were walking carefully across the roof.

Naturally, she was alarmed. She ran outside and looked up, but she couldn't see anyone. After she had assured herself that no one was on the roof, she felt better, even though she couldn't explain what she had heard.

Distrust and Stress

In What Makes Love Last? John Gottman writes about the importance of trust in relationships.

One very interesting comment in the book's introduction is that trust relieves stress. People who trust their partners can make decisions and take actions without having to worry about what the partner will or won't do. If you know that your spouse will do what he says he will do, you don't have to waste time and energy worrying about it. You don't have to check. You can go ahead and make plans based on his promises without having to worry that things will fall apart.

The Old Piano

I just saw a TV commercial for life insurance that really struck the wrong chord. It starts with middle-aged siblings discussing how disappointed they are that they have to sell Mom's piano in order to pay for her funeral.

Right there, the story loses all credibility. Mom's piano can't be sold. I learned this when my mother moved into assisted living and we had to sell most of her things. Pianos are almost impossible to sell. Nobody wants an old piano. In fact, you can't even donate them. Churches, senior centers, youth organizations, schools -- if they want a piano, they already have one. If they don't have one, it's because they don't want one.

The Science of Happy Relationships

The secret to a happy marriage isn't really a secret. Scientists have spent decades studying every aspect of intimate relationships, and we now know a lot about what makes the difference between long-term bliss or ultimate divorce.

In the Kitchen With Dad

Throughout my childhood, my father cooked all our family dinners. He was not a good cook. Apparently, Mom was even worse. She had abdicated the lead role in the kitchen very early in their marriage, after one too many complaints from Dad.

I Coulda Been a Doll Doctor

One topic that was suggested as a possible post for NaBloPoMo was a toy that I wished for when I was little.

I had a lot of toys, and usually the things I really wanted appeared on my birthday or Christmas.

One wish-list item I still remember was a doll whose name I can't recall, but whom I'll call Medical Marva. Marva's role in life was to be a patient. She came with a hospital bed. Her accessories included arm and leg casts, a sling, crutches, a thermometer, medicine bottles and equipment, bandages, and plastic dots that could be stuck on her face to resemble measles or chicken pox.

Responding to Anger

Some people have such wise minds and tranquil spirits that they remain calm and forgiving no matter what the provocation. I'm not like that. Most of us aren't. When someone insults, inconveniences, disappoints, betrays, or annoys us, we tend to get angry.

Maybe it's just a brief irritation. Maybe it's seething resentment. It could become screaming rage, or stony rejection. Often we feel the desire to punish the person who has angered us, even if only in a small way. Return the insult. Refuse to help. Start an argument. Get revenge.

NaBloPoMo

Some people blog every day. I salute them! Their creativity and perseverance amaze me.

Despite all the writing I've done, I often struggle to get words onto the page. "You make it look so easy," someone once told me. Right, that's because you can't actually see me as I'm writing. Staring out the window. Jumping up from my chair because I suddenly realized how important it is to get all the laundry done today. Sorting my pencils. Burying my face in my hands. Typing, deleting, typing, deleting. Whimpering.

So it seemed like a good idea to join NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) on BlogHer.com, where thousands of bloggers agree to post something every day. I have challenged myself to try it. This is my first post.